Barefoot in Manila

Fishing for compliments. Complimenting for fish. It's a life.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

Definitely goodbye. I went back to the office to get my things yesterday. It was really hard for me to cram all the stuff I've accumulated for almost four years into two bags. I had to throw a lot of stuff away. I'm sure that I'll even have to get rid of some of the things I brought home because they're cluttering up my room, which is looking so much like a pigsty at the moment.
My former place is as clean as I can make it. I've erased my computer files and I've gotten rid of my personal stuff. I would have wanted to erase all traces of me but I couldn't get rid of all the files because they might need it still.
At last, after 3 1/2 years, I finally make my get-away. I don't think I'm ever going back there to work. Highly unlikely. Maybe I'll go there once in a while to visit my friends and let the asses there see what a beautiful person I became when I got away from their suffocating influence. One thing is sure though, when I go back there I'll be looking so freakin' radiant and peaceful that they'll be compelled to ask themselves why did they ever let go of such a wonderful person?
The need to gloat overwhelms me at the moment. I just hope this new works out so I can get to do it.

.: posted by cecille 7:23 AM

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

I just need to say Merry Christmas.

.: posted by cecille 5:31 PM

Monday, December 09, 2002

The idealistic speechwriter is well-liked by just about everyone. He's known for his excellent writing, sense of humor, and tendency to be clutzy. Although being younger than the rest of the staff, he's often treated as so, much to his dismay.

:: Which West Wing character are you? ::

.: posted by cecille 10:02 AM

Sunday, December 08, 2002

The worst thing about getting old is that you reach a certain age when you just can't wear scruffy sneakers, jeans, and a T-shirt without seeming like a loser.

.: posted by cecille 7:56 PM

Friday, December 06, 2002

Show me the money? In a fit of megalomania, I searched Google for any references about me on the web. Guess what, I came up with one. Apparently, they're using me to sell their seminar. Who would have thought huh?

.: posted by cecille 6:48 PM

Bono is good beyond reasonable doubt. Last Monday, I stayed away from work and lounged on my bed the whole afternoon. I haven�t been able to do that for the longest time and it felt very liberating to be able to metaphorically give the finger to THE MAN and just say, I don�t need you and I don�t need to be part of the rat race.
It was an afternoon of total surrender to the seduction of HBO. I can�t remember the movies that I saw but the Larry King interview with Bono that I stumbled upon while channel surfing is still tattooed in my mind. Hearing Bono�s thoughts reminded me of why I listen to his music and why I respect him a lot. He�s a person who�s obviously thought much about the things that he believes in. What�s even more remarkable is his ready admission that these thoughts are still mutating and that they aren�t anywhere near perfect. This ambivalence about the certainty of his beliefs, tempered by the sincerity of his willingness to make things a bit better for others, is the reason that I admire him.
I can relate to this never-ending questioning of what to believe and why. I�m not ascribing any grand designs as to why I�m in this world but it�s very important for me to understand how the world works and what�s the meaning of everything. In the end, I�ll probably still not know the answer. But these questions I ask in my head are not the sort of things that can be turned off like a switch (although a bullet right through the temple might be effective). I�m just a slave then. I�ll dance to whatever music they play.
But back to Bono, I respect his uncertainty of metaphysics but I respect his resolve to concrete action even more. I respect the fact that he explains his take on things but doesn�t force others to adopt his view. I respect the fact that he�s humble enough to know that sometimes he could be wrong. There�s no arrogance about him that makes him think he�s got the monopoly on rationality and/or salvation.
I think in the end, we�re all just confused human beings in search of the culprit for our existence.
There�s the usual suspects but it might also be good to look around some more.

.: posted by cecille 5:59 PM

Thursday, December 05, 2002

Going. As the time for me to leave the office gets closer, I feel this conceit growing in me. I just hope that, when I'm gone, things will feel a bit more empty without me. I think that's the most exquisite revenge for not being appreciated that much while I was here.
I hope the ghost of my absence haunts them.

.: posted by cecille 11:02 AM

Make yourself over. I play the part of this rational, responsible 20-something, driven by a clear as crystal image of what I want to be when in fact I'm mostly a rudderless boat swayed by the merest whisper of a promise.
It's a 24x7 show and it can get pretty tiring.

.: posted by cecille 10:43 AM

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

Rex for Prex. Rex Navarrete is going to be in UP this December (16, I think). Ask around for tickets. They're about 50%cheaper if you're a UP student.