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Barefoot in Manila

Fishing for compliments. Complimenting for fish. It's a life.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Am the freaking Merovingian. How did that happen?
You are The Merovingian-
You are The Merovingian, from "The
Matrix." Wit and danger, with a French
twist. You are adamant about the slightly
materialistic things- power, wealth, posession.
Dominating, aren't we?

What Matrix Persona Are You?
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.: posted by cecille 3:12 PM

All packed up. This is the last week that I'll be working. I've been here for just six months and here I am again, packing up. In this case, am not just cleaning out my things but also five years worth of corporate trash. The members of the board of directors have left me to fend for myself. Nobody's asked me since the (un)eventful board meeting how the packing and cleaning up is going. I guess they've all said their goodbyes to this chapter and in their lives and have moved on. And it's me left holding the (trash) bag, worrying about where to cram all these unwanted stuff.

I've emailed the directors, asking them which of the office equipment they wanted. Guess what, not even one soul deigned to reply. What am I to make of the silence then? Not one of them is interested? Well, how about if I take home all these stuff? I've always wanted to have a fax machine in my room. And the 2.5 horsepower airconditioner, albeit five years old, is still not bad either. I especially these leather chairs that are so comfy. Everytime my butt comes into contact with the plush leather, I fall asleep.

The thing is, as how as I'd like to say that I'm not pissed, I actually am. God, who was it then who decided to lure me into this hellhole with promises of an okay working life for more than a year at least? Granted I hated my other job but at least I could and did leave it without having to worry about other people's trash. In this case, I'm the designted cleaning lady. If you happened to pass by my office for the past week, you would have seen this lunatic lugging huge black trash bags towards the trash bins. I tell you, this is not exactly the picture that poped into my head when I applied for this job.

To make matters worse, my so-called action officer under the placement program also seems to be taking her sweet time in connecting with other offices on my behalf. Almost two months since I first presented myself before her and nothing has happened. Well, so much for her stories then of getting people jobs in the span of a week or two.

The present bleakness of my job situation has me second-guessing my earlier resolve to try out government work exclusively. I thought the placement program would take care of everything. Now I don't know if I should start calling up government offices again to aske if there are any vacancies. It's really difficult to get into government jobs. Most of the vacancies are only open to those already with the government. Outsiders like me are almost never afforded the opportunity to get started anywhere. So a part of me is now reconsidering whether I should again try working for private companies. It's easier to look for vacancies there. The problem, however, is my school sked. Government offices are a lot more flexible and they let you choose either a 7-4, 8-5, or 9-6 sked. So if I have classes at 6pm, I can opt for a 7-4 sked. Companies on the other hand, especially those that offer services, usually hold a fixed sked for everyone. Of course, they wouldn't let you come in at 7am if the office opens at 9am. For instance, if you're in customer relations, you'll have no one to relate to at 7am because people come in at 9am.

Ever since I graduated, I've always had work-related anxieties. When will these things end? Is there something like being too old for these problems? I thought being older would be better--you get to make decisions for yourself and enjoy some independence. But all being twenty brought me were problems, problems, problems. The thirties would have to be much much better or else I might just be unable to help myself and end up dooing serious damage to someone.

Anybody want to trade places with me?

(ETA: Ironically, Matthew Sweet is singing to me just right now: You look for something better than this. I promise you it doesn't exist.)

.: posted by cecille 2:58 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

It's 8 am and I'm in the office already. I'm sleepy as hell. I think I'm going to catch a bit of sleep before getting to work. I think I've told you earlier that the corporation is wrapping up. Well, it's now my job to put things in order: pay the bills, inform the phone company and the building management that we're imploding. That's the easy part. The part that will require some work is going through all the files, deciding which ones to keep and throwing away the rest. I realize now that I'm going to need some boxes. I might go over to the university co-op to get some later this afternoon. Now I'm left to do the thing that I hate the most: cleaning up.

.: posted by cecille 7:51 AM

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Soon to be jobless. Last Friday, what's left of the board of directors (Nope, the others didn't die or went away. They just couldn't be bothered to haul their asses all the way to Quezon City) met and finally decided on closing shop. The earlier expiration date that they gave me was confirmed. Both the office and yours truly need to get the hell out of this place by June 30.

So I'm off jobhunting in a few days, as soon as i finish packing up all the office stuff. No prospects yet on the job front. Things are not looking good at all. It's not yet time to totally despair though. I just got word the other day that the person working on my application at the CSC is doing just that. She's done with the recommendation letters that she'll send to government agencies. I hope something comes up as soon as possible. I don't want to reach the point I was in when I lost my job almost four years ago--when I was so desperate to do something that I resorted to combing the yellow pages and randomly calling up companies, asking if they had vacancies.

At least I wouldn't be pressured at home about getting a job. I already told my parents and they seem to have no opinion on it, for now. I get all the pressure I can put up with from me, I don't need them to be constantly asking me if I'm any closer to getting employed.

.: posted by cecille 9:49 AM

Friday, June 06, 2003

It's always about a job, isn't it? Lots of uncertainty ahead of moi right now. The president of the office I work for has resigned and has also recommended the dissolution of the corporation. The board of directors are still thinking of their options but I've already gotten a sell-by date of June 30, 2003. The possibility of losing this job wasn't much of a problem for me as I've already decided to leave the office and look for a government job. So I accepted the verdict of my expiration date calmly and even refused their offer to place me in another office. I was confident that I would have another job by June 30 and there was no need for me to take another job while I was waiting for what I really wanted.
About two months ago, I applied to a jobs placement program of the Civil Service Commission. Thankfully, after an exam and an interview, I got in. I was assured by the person I talked to that she would be able to get a job for me in no time. Well, old impressionable me swallowed everything she said, hook, line and you know what. But now that I think about it, am having doubts as to whether she's that quick at placing people. It's almost been a month since and I haven't gotten any word as to any prospects. I'm thinking now that she may have just been building herself up, with all her talk of getting people jobs in as short as a week, because she knew that I was close to one of her bosses in the office. So now am praying, for my sake, that her suspicions are mistaken and that she's really good at her job.
Needless to say, I'm starting to get nervous with June 30 looming. I haven't told my parents that I might be out of work in less than a month. I think I'm not coping with the uncertainties at all. I hope that I would get word as to any job as soon as possible because if there's a possibility that I won't be employed anytime within the next three months then I'll just enroll in day classes in school. At least then I'll be able to catch up on the subjects that I still haven't taken. I'm behind by at least 3 subjects from my batch.
There's going to be another board meeting tonight. I hope they can make sense of what they're going to do with the office so I can get on with drawing up my gameplan for the year.

.: posted by cecille 9:59 AM