The worst thing about getting old is that you reach a certain age when you just can't wear scruffy sneakers, jeans, and a T-shirt without seeming like a loser.
Show me the money? In a fit of megalomania, I searched Google for any references about me on the web. Guess what, I came up with one. Apparently, they're using me to sell their seminar. Who would have thought huh?
Bono is good beyond reasonable doubt. Last Monday, I stayed away from work and lounged on my bed the whole afternoon. I havenít been able to do that for the longest time and it felt very liberating to be able to metaphorically give the finger to THE MAN and just say, I donít need you and I donít need to be part of the rat race.
It was an afternoon of total surrender to the seduction of HBO. I canít remember the movies that I saw but the Larry King interview with Bono that I stumbled upon while channel surfing is still tattooed in my mind. Hearing Bonoís thoughts reminded me of why I listen to his music and why I respect him a lot. Heís a person whoís obviously thought much about the things that he believes in. Whatís even more remarkable is his ready admission that these thoughts are still mutating and that they arenít anywhere near perfect. This ambivalence about the certainty of his beliefs, tempered by the sincerity of his willingness to make things a bit better for others, is the reason that I admire him.
I can relate to this never-ending questioning of what to believe and why. Iím not ascribing any grand designs as to why Iím in this world but itís very important for me to understand how the world works and whatís the meaning of everything. In the end, Iíll probably still not know the answer. But these questions I ask in my head are not the sort of things that can be turned off like a switch (although a bullet right through the temple might be effective). Iím just a slave then. Iíll dance to whatever music they play.
But back to Bono, I respect his uncertainty of metaphysics but I respect his resolve to concrete action even more. I respect the fact that he explains his take on things but doesnít force others to adopt his view. I respect the fact that heís humble enough to know that sometimes he could be wrong. Thereís no arrogance about him that makes him think heís got the monopoly on rationality and/or salvation.
I think in the end, weíre all just confused human beings in search of the culprit for our existence.
Thereís the usual suspects but it might also be good to look around some more.
Going. As the time for me to leave the office gets closer, I feel this conceit growing in me. I just hope that, when I'm gone, things will feel a bit more empty without me. I think that's the most exquisite revenge for not being appreciated that much while I was here.
I hope the ghost of my absence haunts them.
Make yourself over. I play the part of this rational, responsible 20-something, driven by a clear as crystal image of what I want to be when in fact I'm mostly a rudderless boat swayed by the merest whisper of a promise.
It's a 24x7 show and it can get pretty tiring.
Rex for Prex. Rex Navarrete is going to be in UP this December (16, I think). Ask around for tickets. They're about 50%cheaper if you're a UP student.