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faithfool i want to believe

Friday, August 09, 2002

A new flavor. Hey, About a Boy, the movie is already out here in Manila. I'm planning to see it tomorrow. If I like it, I'll ditch John Cusack and put Hugh Grant as new flavor of the month.

Nothing more than feelings. ďMy heart is like a pawnshop filled with unredeemed treasures,Ē a character named Lily in Saul Bellowís Henderson the Rain King said. Thatís how I feel. Exactly.

Excited for a change. Weíre about to go live with the new university site that weíve been working on for the past four months. Iím excited to premiere our new look to the world. Unfortunately, I wonít be able to share it with you because I donít want you to know where I work. I think Iíve done far too much damage to the universityís reputation. If I tell you where I work, Iím liable to get fired. And getting fired is not exactly among my plans right now because I have nowhere else to go and law school is a rather costly vice to finance.

As it is, I think that our network administrator has found my site. Itís actually my fault. I sometimes update from my office computer. This is especially true now because all the studying I have to do does not allow me to turn on my home pc even for just a few minutes. I also periodically visit this site to check if comments have been added. Thanks to you who always prefer to keep quiet, I always close my browser window with a heavy heart.

Itís raining outside and here I am cooped up inside the house writing my thoughts to a bunch of strangers. One guy once asked me once why I was so reluctant to let people know about this page. I told him that I really didnít care if people knew about my site, as long as I donít personally know those people too. I want to be honest here, with as little editing of my thoughts as possible. Somehow, I feel that most people I know wouldnít understand. At least if strangers read it, I wouldnít be compelled to explain myself or risk being misunderstood.

Telling it like it is. I love the school I go to because the people there tell it like it is. Most of the teachers are so smart that they feel they don't need to suck up to anybody.
Just the other night, my teacher told our class that one of the law professors was an asshole. Heh! That just made my day. I'm going to think of it when I take a class under that professor next semester. Maybe it'll offer small comfort to me when I get yelled at.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

Change will do you good. What was gray before has now turned to a question of black or white. I'm talking about the template.
And John Cusack's here too. Scroll down.

Spilling the beans. I got this set of questions through e-mail but instead of sending it to everyone, I figured it would be better if I post it here instead.

* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: Never
* Missed school because it was raining? Many times
* Put a body part on fire for amusement? Yes, I used to run the tip of my finger across the flame of a candle.
* Been hurt emotionally? Everybody hurts sometime (REM).
* Kept a secret from everyone? Of course.
* Had a crush on a teacher? Yes. It was a confusing time for me.
* Ever thought an animated character was hot? Yes. Richard from the anime Daimos.
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: Lots. Like I said, it was a confusing time for me. I even have an NKOTB pillowcase and bedspread.
* Been on stage: Yes. Somehown I always manage to get myself into those situations.
* Cut your hair: My hair was really short until about three years ago.

* Shampoo: I change brands every few weeks. I get dandruff when I don't. I think they call it scalp fatigue or something.
* Soap: Johnson & Johnson's Baby Milk Bath is my favorite. I also like the egg-shaped soaps of Human.
* Color: Black and Dark Red. Yes, it's very vampiric of me.
* Day/Night: Carpe noctem. Seize the night.
* Summer/Winter: Summer. But only due to lack of information. We don't have winters in the Philippines and I've never been out of the country.
* Lace or satin: Satin.
* Fave cartoon Characters: Homer Simpson (because he's such a slob) and Darla (?). Darla is an MTV cartoon series. I see myself in her.
* Fave food: Anything. But I like stuff with spicy vinegar right now.
* Fave advertisement: The one where the baby plugs in all the leaks with a diaper. I think it's Pampers.
* Fave movie: I've got many. There's Matrix, Amelie, Dreaming of Joseph Lees, Moulin Rouge, and the movie where all the characters do is read love letters and then go into flashbacks. But I really, really, really love Fight Club so I guess that's my favorite movie.
* Fave ice cream: Something with chocolate and nuts.
* Fave subject: I love Constitutional law and mostly the civil law subjects.
* Fave 'normal' drink: Normal??? Iced tea is what I usually drink.
* Fave persons to talk to online: Well, there was this Korean-American guy from California, then there was this Japanese guy named Yas, and then there was this Singaporean computer programmer. I last person that I really liked talking to was this German guy named Benkowski who sent me an mp3 of a Nina Gordon song. I haven't been able to chat with anyone since I went back to law school.

* Wearing: Clothes fit for the office.
* Hair is: Way past my shoulders.
* Eating: Nothing. Am in the office right now.
* Drinking: Nothing. See answer to previous question.
* Thinking about: My class tonight and how it's 10 o'clock and I still don't feel like working.
* Listening to: Whatever and ever, Amen by Ben Folds Five.
* Talking to: Cheer Mae, my officemate, as always.

* Cried: No.
* Wearing a skirt: Yes. Yesterday I played the part of the 'esteemed skirted one' in the office.
* Met someone new: No.
* Cleaned your room: Not for weeks.
* Done laundry: Not for almost a
* Drove a car: Don't know how.

* Yourself: Yes.
* Your friends: Most of them, most of the time.
* Santa Claus: No.
* Tooth Fairy: No. That's the most stupid justification to have your teeth pulled out.
* Destiny/Fate: No. Because if Destiny is real, he's not doing a good job. And if Destiny's not real, then that just explains everything.
* Angels: No.
* Ghosts: No. Except for the ghost in the machine J
* UFO's: No.

* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No.
* Who's the shyest: Among whom?
* Like anyone? Yes.
* Who's the loudest: Me, sometimes. Especially when I'm a bit drunk.
* Who's the weirdest: Must be me.
* Who do you go to for advice: My friends, but I usually just listen to what my soul says.
* Who do you cry to? Myself, when I'm serious. Mostly I laugh and cry (both at the same time) when I'm with my friends.
* When did you cry the most: Let's not get into that.
* What's the best feeling in the world: When I come across a book or a CD after looking for it for months. Mostly, it's when I discover something new. That's the religious experience for me.
* Worst feeling: When I go to class unprepared. Like the damned exam I had to take last Friday which I only found out about an hour before class.

Monday, August 05, 2002

Can you afford me? My Human For Sale test results say that I am worth exactly $1,658,078.00. Go check how much you're worth and let's compare notes. If we're worth the same, would you care to swap?


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