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faithfool i want to believe

Saturday, March 23, 2002

This was supposed to be posted last night but my ISP was acting up. I went out with my friends earlier to this karaoke bar. The place was divided into small rooms which had a tv and sound system. A room for a group of five costs P500 per hour. The charge was consummable for food and drinks.
After two bottles of beer, I had a nice buzz. Everything was a bit hazy. Things looked to me the way they would look to a person who suddenly took off his glasses after wearing them for years. I still could see everything but the edges where one detail ended and another began were a bit blurred. I also felt like I had a head cold. I could hear everything okay but the sounds were a bit muffled, as if they weren't coming from those around me but from things a bit further away.
Surreal's the word, I guess.

Sometimes we get good luck. I always bitch about all the bad breaks I get that sometimes it's easy to forget that I do get good luck once in a while. Well, I got a nice one recently.
About a month ago, I applied to this IT company who was looking for people to write content for their websites. I sent in my resume and the following day I was scheduled for some testing. I had second thoughts about going because I wasn't given enough time to prepare. I also had some deadlines to meet at the office and I wasn't able to warn my boss that I was going to be out the following day. Despite all these misgiving, however, I decided to go. I didn't want to turn off whatever good karma was coming my way.
I should have known better though. The guy who was supposed to give me the exam didn't even show up. Worse, nobody from that office even bothered to attend to me. I was so pissed that I left. A few weeks after, the guy called me again, asking me to go back for the exam. I turned him down.
About a week ago, my friend came across an a story in the paper about the company. Their office was raided because they were using unlicensed Microsoft software. Wow! How could some people be so stupid? To top it all off, the newspaper story also listed the names of the people in the office using the pirated software. I could have been one of them. Thank goodness I didn't go through with my application. If they were too cheap to buy software, who knows how much they'd be willing to pay their people?

Thursday, March 21, 2002

The death of common sense. Here's a conversation that took place in our office some time ago:
M: I'm going to need some supplies. What form do I need to fill out?
A: That would be the supplies requisition form.
(M gets the form and shows it to A. Please note that the words "SUPPLIES REQUISITION FORM" are clearly printed on the paper.)
M: Is this it?
I rest my case. Is it hard to believe what you see?

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

I'm getting tired of this. I've been happy for a little over 24 hours. That's a pretty good figure, I believe. Now, however, I'm back to the natural condition of man--the state of being generally pissed. Why can't things go my way for once?
I got this project late last year to help out an ambassador. She planned to come out with a book compilation of all the MOAs that were signed during her term. I was given the materials way back and I already started a bit of the work. I also did some reading on Australia, the country where she was assigned. The project was shelved for some time because the ambassador had to tie up all the loose ends she was leaving in Australia. She was getting reassigned back here.
I got an e-mail the other day saying that she wanted to meet about the project. Since the meeting was set to take place on campus, I felt that I had to tell my boss about the project. It would have been unethical for me to meet with these people during office hours for a side project he didn't know about. Taking on side projects (or rackets, as I usually call them) is okay, as long as you tell him about it.
I sent him an e-mail about it and, horror of horrors!, he told me to ask Minch to work with us. What? How? Why? The worst part of it was that I couldn't even ignore his suggestion since he already forwarded the e-mail to her.
I still can't believe what happened.
So now I have to work with M. I can just predict what will happen. I'll end up doing all the research and the reading and the writing and the legwork and the calling people up. And then, when everything's written up in pretty little words, she'll go through it wielding her vicious red pen.
And then we'll get paid equal. This, more than anything else is what hurts the most.

A post from the trenches. I'm sitted in front of my computer, trying to put mind over fingers and fingers over keyboard to come up with the mind-blowing text that will adorn the university's new site. So far, I've edited/re-written 10 pages out of 45. 35 more pages to go. And to think I promised my boss that I'll give him the text today.
Sarah McLachlan is singing her heart out but she still can't get me into a working groove. I can't focus. My mind's been hitchhiking everywhere. I work better when the sun's gone down and my officemates gone home. I wish it was always 5:30 pm.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Today is a happy day. The 2001 Bar Exam results are out. My friend passed! Congratulations Dangz! I knew you would make it. My college blockmate Paolo made it to number 2 while Adon, a friend of a friend, is in 8th place. Wow!

Tongues are wagging. Even the heat of the sun can't vaporize the tension that's threatening to blanket Metro Manila. Rumour has it that the 2001 Bar Exam results are coming out today. In a few hours, some will be deliriously happy. Some will feel like killing themselves or doing some serious damage to others. I hope all my friends make it.
Wonder who's gonna come out on top?

Under the table and dreaming. So says Dave Matthews. Well, am dreaming alright but I'm nowhere near the floor or the table. I wish I'd wake up already. Now I'm fantasizing about all the good grades I'm gonna get. Don't worry though. I'll wake up from my delusions approximately one week after I go back to law school.

Happiness is egg-shaped. These words appear whenever I turn on my mobile phone. Everytime I see it, I just say to myself, "yeah, yeah..." Now, however, I'm so very happy. And these words, I realize, are just perfect to capture what I feel at the moment.
This frequently happens but I am deliriously happy today. I just found out this morning that I have been readmitted to law school. Wow. These are the thoughts I am currently digesting:
1. My pathetic grades made it.
2. I'll get another crack at proving that I'm not such a fuckwit.
3. Wow.
4. Wow.
5. Wow!
I can't stop myself from smiling everytime I remember my good news for today. Wow!

Monday, March 18, 2002

We're still on Nash, my dears. Finally some clarity. I take back all I said earlier. Tinny, true love exists after all.

Sunday, March 17, 2002

Who's telling the truth here? I was curious about what really happened to John Nash so I surfed for some stuff about him. I got some really interesting things and now I'm confused.
The movie showed that Nash could'nt interact with women well. He was always being slapped or spurned. Well, it turns out that, before he met his future wife Alicia (played by Jennifer Connelly in the movie), he had a child with Eleanor Stier. Why wasn't this mentioned in the movie?
The movie also showed his wife Alicia being very devoted to him, supporting him even when his mental state was at its worst. In fact, John Nash supposedly waxed romantic over "love" during his Nobel Prize acceptance speech. Apparently, his wife divorced him when he got too crazy, although she continued to help him out.
Okay, Ron Howard, who's telling the truth here?

A beautiful mind. I saw A Beautiful Mind yesterday and I still can't stop thinking about it. The movie was so beautiful and Russell Crowe was so great in it. He should win the Oscar.
I'm just wondering if everything they put in the movie is true or if they indulged in some cinematic revisions. I couldn't believe they'd be so honest about what happened to him, especially since he's still alive and he'll have to deal with people's reactions to the movie. What struck me about the movie was Nash's consuming need to prove himself. I would have thought that, being a true genius, he would have been immune to such challenges. It seems that, contrary to what I earlier thought, the pressure is greater for him to make a mark. Otherwise, people will just say that he wasted his mind on trivia.


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